What Is A Visual Creature Exactly?
Sooo…I woke up on this glorious, cold and sunny Sunday morning with a thought that I just could not shake.
I have often read and heard it said that “men are visual creatures,” that they have to see outwardly beautiful features to become attracted to someone. It’s said that this is why they are prone to a hunt of only the most loveliest of the female species. Women nip and tuck, puncture and prod their bodies to extreme degrees trying to satisfy this so called primal need of men to have the most beautiful woman that they can. But… then I had another thought. I love beauty too! Who would have thunk it, me being a woman? I greatly admire beauty in nature, in art, and in the male form.
When I see a Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Michael B. Jordan, or Henry Golding (I use these named people because most of us would agree that they are fairly easy on the eyes) type man I am informed of their outer beauty, that fineness, and savior faire that they possess. I can appreciate a chiseled frame, beautiful eyes, and a lovely smile. Men don’t have the monopoly on recognizing beauty. Many of them though have jumped on that “men are visual creatures” train and are trying to ride it to Timbuktu. This is often their reasoning for not looking to partner with women who are not Instagram model- like, the pretty faced, perfect bodied specimen. You know, not the girl next door, or the one you meet at the supermarket type. Look, I totally get preferences. Do you, my man. All of us are welcome to choose whomever and whatever type person we want to partner with, but let’s keep it real and acknowledge the often true reasonings for such choices.
I know, I know, it’s terribly cliché, but beauty is, and as it should be, in the eye of the beholder. I have come to believe that it may be more about one’s inability to see past the exterior features of an individual. Humans, unfortunately have developed a need to have what we feel someone else will envy and covet. We have gotten away from realizing and appreciating real beauty. Some men see women as trophies, therefore the mindset is often that you want the grandest and shiniest trophy. For many reasons women have come to be that thing that validates and secures a man’s stature. Throw a stone in that pond and it bounces back at you like a rubber ball. There is very often no depth of reasoning to the idea of acquiring superficial beauty.
As I thought about this conundrum I was reminded of a real life situation that I know of. There was a man who was a highly educated, fairly attractive, a rising to the top type guy. He was interested in a young woman who herself was highly educated, attractive, sweet and going places in the world. He saw her as a definite complement to himself. He was truly interested in her. She though had one fatal flaw that he could not see past. She had a small growth on her back, not anything Quasimodo-like, just a benign growth that could have probably been removed if she was so inclined to do. He passed up an opportunity to be with someone who may well have been his perfect, or at least as perfect as humans can be, other half. He couldn’t look past a minor blemish to see the major benefit that she could have truly been in his life. Even if the flaw had been something more visible why couldn’t he see all of the other positive attributes that she possessed?
Men are visual creatures, but so are women. There are of course highly superficial women also. Some women will only see the money in your bank account, the size of your house, the pedigree of your automobile, or your prowess in the bedroom. Be mindful though of the women who will see you for none of these things. They will see your goodness, your kindness, and your integrity. They will see you for the qualities that you want them to recognize in you, not your exterior facade.
Is it possible that we can all get off the “I’m a visual creature” boat? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t desire, or be aware of physical beauty, but maybe we can notice the inner person, the beauty that will last past our becoming ill, getting injured, growing old, or some other unforeseen event that affects our outer shell.
Continue please to be a visual creature. Admire what your eyes see as beautiful, but acknowledge what substantive beauty is and search it out. I’ll bet you’ll be a lot happier in the end with this mindset.
