What do you find True Value in?
There has recently been a firestorm brewing around a circulating video of a woman who sought out advice on how to find a High Value Man (HVM). The woman in question called into a self-help forum whose guru is supposed to give advice on what you need to do to secure such a person. She requested help in finding someone who makes at least a six-figure income, because she felt that a man of this means would be commensurate to her six-figure salary.
The firestorm actually erupted when the guru made it known to the woman that she (in his opinion), was not indeed a High Value Woman (HVW), and that she was “average at best.” He went on to explain to her why she would not be considered a HVW. She was in her mid- thirties, she was a single mother of a teenaged child, she was only average on the attraction spectrum, her six-figure income was only recently acquired, and apparently, she did not run in the right circles to even meet a said, HVM. Therefore because of the aforementioned deficits that she possessed, and her inability to be contented with finding a like -minded average man, according to the guru, she was “destined to die alone.”
I find the terms High Value Man, and High Value Woman to be a woefully inaccurate way to describe anyone’s personal value. Humans have proven to be highly unskilled in deciding what, and who are deserving of that characterization of high value. It’s just not in many of our wheelhouses. People have a history of being incapable of differentiating between what is of high value and what is not. Since today is a day of celebration for the birth of Christ, you need only to look at the scriptural account written in the Gospels about the fate of the Christ (Jesus). Barabbas, a notorious criminal, who was also a murderer was chosen to be spared imprisonment and death over Jesus, the prophesied Messiah. The people at that time period decided that Barabbas was of a higher value as a human than Jesus. This is not a Sunday school lesson, but one that shows the inability of humans to make a wise determination of high or low value. We humans often equate having large sums of money, stature in a community, looks, intelligence, and celebrity with someone having a high value. Nothing could be further from the truth.
This controversial subject; high versus low value has often pitted man against woman (a fairly common scenario these days). Many of the comments from men revealed that they felt the woman in question received her “just desserts” for seeking out a partner who earned a similar income to her own, six figures. Men also pointed out that they had been warned for years to “stay in their lane”, and to only attempt to be with women in their league. Many men felt like they were aware of this standard, and that women could not handle the truth of this hierarchy. Many women on the other hand felt that the guru was harsh in his tone, comments, and handling of the requested help (though some women heartily agreed with the guru’s sentiments).
My thoughts, and these are only my thoughts, are that as cliché as it may sound; it is what is inside and radiates outward that truly makes you someone who can be deemed as a high value human. I am actually opposed to labeling and defining people by labels, so I probably would not use the language “high value” at all to define someone’s worth.
I recently viewed a TED talk on YouTube titled “Own Your Face.” I found it poignant and enlightening. I won’t give a complete overview of what the video entailed, but the gist of the conversation was this; we are not in control of what we are brought into this world with, be it, the condition of our faces and bodies, wealth, or lack thereof. We don’t come here with scholarly degrees, and most of us do not possess great notoriety, or celebrity. We are though born with consciences that allow us to observe and see the reality of true worth. Somewhere along the way we lose that ability. We only see what the world tells us is valuable. We lose real insight into what and whom we would consider valuable. I found this quote that I had jotted down in a notebook. I’m not sure who it is originally attributed to, but I found it most assuredly appropriate for this conversation. “DON’T ATTACH YOUR SELF- ESTEEM TO SOMEONE ELSE’S PREFERENCES.”
We’ve been told that there is someone out there for everyone. I’d like to believe that this is true, but I won’t base my opinion on whether or not I am worthy of them on my looks, my wealth, my possessions, my connections(stature), or my education. I can only hope that they can see what radiates outward from me: my essence, my authenticity, my kindness, and my humanity, as a desirable and valuable thing.
