I agree with your point concerning growing out of the thoughts and mannerisms that may have been taught to us by our parents. When you leave home and start adulting, it's up to you to forge your own identity, complete with your own ideals and preferences. If he chose to date women, and marry a woman based solely on how light complected they were, that speaks to his character, not that of his mom. We have to grow up, and be our own persons. It reminds me of the old Flip Wilson comedy sketch when he would say; "the devil made me do it."